Mars Attacks (1996) (Mars.Attacks.1996.DVDRip.XviD.AC3-ACE.CD1.en.sub) Свали субтитрите
What's this? Filipino New Year's?
No. Why you say that?
'Cause you're cooking a feast.
I can smell it from the interstate.
What is that? Barbecue?
Yeah. But it not coming from here.
What is that noise?
What is your take on this, Jerry?
The people will love it, Mr. President.
Our conflict is whether we ambush the 6:00 news or hold out for prime time.
Screw the press. This is a need-to-know situation.
We should make it top secret, and should move in with Defcon Four.
We can't sit on this.
General Casey, do you have an opinion?
Well, sir...
do we know they are hostile?
What do you mean?
They have the planet surrounded by thousands of warships!
Do we know they're warships?
Professor, what do we know about them?
They're very advanced technologically.
Which suggests, rightfully so, that they're peaceful.
An advanced civilization is, by definition, not barbaric.
Mr. President...
this is a great day.
I and all my colleagues...
are extremely excited.
Good.
Extraterrestrial life.
You're right, Jerry.
The people are going to love it.
This is a momentous occasion.
Mr. President-
We'll go all media on this.
I'll wear my Cerruti suit.
I'll need a good speech.
Statesman-like...
historical and yet...
warm, neighborly.
Abraham Lincoln meets Leave it to Beaver, kind of thing.
Are they too old-fashioned?
No, I don't think so.
This has got the colors but, no. I don't think so.
Not vivid enough.
Nancy had this in the library.
Yes, indeed.
I don't think so.
I thought perhaps the watered silk. This week it's on sale.
I hardly think I need worry about that.
My husband is the leader of the free world.
What do you think?
Why don't you leave the Roosevelt Room the way the Roosevelts wanted it.
Because Eleanor Roosevelt was too fond of chintz. That's why.
Mother, this isn't your house.
If you're going to be a pest, I'll ignore you!
Mrs. Dale?
I saw you fight Sonny Liston in '69.
Really?
You were a nun back then?
We've always been fight fans, haven't we sisters?
Byron Williams, telephone.
I must go.
You ladies have a nice time.
Oh, Louise.
Sorry to call you at work, but...
the boys haven't been home in two nights. I don't know what to do.
You're doing the best you can.
They're just at that age.
The casino manager's giving me the evil eye. I've gotta go.
I'll call you later, okay?
Are you still cool on me coming to Washington?
'Course I am.
You take care, okay? Bye.
Must you drink in front of me?
You're an adult. Just cope.
It doesn't help me that all we ever do is sit in bars.
This is work, baby, okay?
I'm checking the decor, the lighting, the traffic flow.
If I'd known you'd turn into a crook, I wouldn't have married you.
I'm not a crook.
I'm ambitious. There's a difference.
If you think you can make a nickel in this town...
without knowing how to dally around a few curves, well...
you know nothing of the gambling industry.
The Galaxy's going to be the best hotel in Vegas.
The best!
I promise.
But don't you realize what you're doing? You're destroying the Earth!
All this greed! This money system!
You're destroying everything!
Okay, Barbara, okay.
Keep your voice down.
I got friends here.
Sugar!
Hit me one more time.
Stop flirting with the waitress.
God. Here.
Go over to the roulette...
play our anniversary...
and stay off of black.
Thanks.
Make it quick, we go out live in ten minutes.
What? The actual president?
Cutting in?
Budget negotiations may be dead in the water after this week.
Hair looks good.
I like the hair.
quote, "factually-challenged."
Yeah, Stone. Speak.
Jason, hi, it's me.
You wearing a bra?
Listen, this is big. President Dale is cutting into my show today.
That's absurd. Why would he stoop to being on "Today in Fashion"?
He's interrupting everybody.
I don't know, it's some sort of an emergency announcement.
This doesn't make sense. He should talk to us.
White House is coming out live.
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
I apologize for interrupting your regular programs...
but I have a very important announcement to make.
Many important things have happened to me in my life:
My graduation from Princeton...
the day that Marsha said she would be my wife...
the birth of our daughter Taffy.
Thanks, Dad.
And the news that I have heard today ranks right up there.
A powerful memory is in the making.
Not just for me...
but for all mankind.
Today...
an extraordinary discovery was made by the Hubble telescope.
The data from the Hubble was decoded...
then analyzed by the most powerful computers at MIT.
The images are undeniable.
We are entering the dawn of a new era.
Frame enlargements provide an astonishing sight.
A fleet of vehicles, which can best be described as...
flying saucers.
Come on! Come on! Papa needs a new pair of shoes!
Hey, am I the only one shooting craps here?
We hope we will have the chance to meet with them.
This is the perfect summation to the 20th Century...
Martians.
This is great.
Please, come to Earth. Please.
We need you.
I got people coming in!
Everybody wants to be part of this.
Galaxy's going to be world class.
And soon...
we will become one solar system.
What the hell's he talking about?
These flying saucers have come from Mars...
and at their current course and speed...
will enter Earth's orbit in 16 hours.
I've been thinking about Martians when there weren't any.
It is profoundly moving to know there is intelligent life out there.
Glad it's somewhere.
Our world will never feel quite the same again.
Good night...
and God bless you all.
This...
is intense.
Shut up, Poppy. Shut up.
Shut up!
Jason Stone.
It's for you.
Poppy, honey. No, sweetie.
That's right. Good girl.
I could be there at...
I don't know, 11:00.
They want me to interview the professor from the White House.
Kessler?
Donald Kessler?
Yeah, I think that was his name.
You know, the science guy.
This is nuts, this is...
We should have got that guy.
Your people are too slow.
Right, Poppy?
Finished!
One minute, 57 seconds.
- Didn't I tell you under two minutes?
- You did!
You did!
Hot damn.
Want a doughnut?
How old are they?
Fresh baked, Monday.
Richie, that's six days ago!
Give me a couple.
This Martian thing is pretty awesome.
Did one of you traitors see my Muffy?
Your brother's volunteering.
As soon as I get back to the base.
Volunteer for what?
Martian detail.
Cool.
If any Martians come around here, I'll kick their butts!
Jump!
Folks, we must make an unscheduled stop!
It's Mama.
Why are you here? If you ain't home, why ain't you in class?
Class was cancelled.
It was not!
- Come here!
- Why?
I'm not going to hurt you.
Let go of him.
Okay. Now just come here.
Come here.
Think it's smart to cut school?
- What are you doing?
- Do you?
No, it's dumb.
You'll flunk! Go to jail!
Get on the bus!
Get on!
I'll be tripping on you. Get back there.
I don't want to hear anymore.
I hate school.
I heard that!
Hi, there.
Want a date?
How about it?
A date?
It sounds good.
The stress at work is...
unbelievable.
May I speak to you in private?
No, I must watch the floor. What do you want?
- I'm supporting a family back east.
- I thought you were divorced.
I am, but I still have to take care of them.
Things have been a little lean around here.
I was wondering if I could get a raise?
Out of the question.
I'm an asset to this hotel. They like me around here.
You're a nice guy.
But I can get Leon Spinks or Buster Douglas for the same money.
You better get moving. You're on in five minutes.
This show's going to get a great rating.
It's all yours.
In certain circumstances the proposition that two and two equals five...
is entirely legitimate.
Call me Nathalie.
And you, do please call me Donald.
I admire your show.
Really? You like my work?
Yes. Very much.
Why...
Thank you.
Coming out of commercial.
In five... four...
three... two...
Welcome back. We're with Professor Donald Kessler.
He's the chairman of the American Academy...
of Astronautics.
Professor...
isn't it weird that we sent a space probe to Mars...
and we didn't even find anyone?
Well, not really...
Nathalie.
We didn't get into the canals.
The Martian canals are canyons.
Some are over 100 miles deep.
The Martian civilization has clearly developed under the planet's surface.
Their science and technology must be absolutely mind-boggling.
So...
what in your view, Donald...
Kessler...
Chairman, are some of the things the Martians can teach us, Professor?
Quite a lot about Mars, Nathalie.
She's flirting.
But seriously, this is tremendously exciting.
The knowledge, the new ideas: it'll change everything.
And we must be open to it.
Maybe they can tell us about our universe.
How it started.
Where it's going.
Perhaps even its purpose.
It's tremendously exciting.
It's the most important event since...
Jesus walked in Galilee-
Christ.
What's wrong?
Go to Camera Two!
I can't. It's busted.
Go to One! Go to Four!
He copped a feel.
Now what?
What's that?
So that's a Martian.
That's a Martian?
Oh, my God!
Yikes!
I'm not having that thing in my house.
Sweetie...
we may have to. The people expect me to meet them.
They're not eating off the Van Buren china.
Look at that brain.
He must be real smart.
It's gross!
Don't forget, Nathalie...
that we will look equally gross to him.
He made the international sign of the doughnut.
From the limited information available, I've made three extrapolations. One:
Our Martian friend is a carbon-based life form.
Two: He breathes nitrogen.
And three:
The large cerebrum here, indicates...
telepathic potential.
You mean they can...
read our thoughts?
Potentially, yes.
What about their intentions?
Are they friendly people?
Logic dictates that given their high level of technical development...
they're an advanced culture.
Therefore, peaceful and enlightened.
The human race, on the other hand...
is an aggressively dangerous species.
Now I suspect they have more to fear from us...
than we from them.
Doctor.
Thank you.
For many years, I've been refining a translating computer.
The results are not perfect, but this...
may answer some of your questions.
Green skin...
800 centuries ago.
Their bodily fluids...
include the birth of half-breeds.
How many centuries did he say?
Eight hundred, sir.
Self-determination of the cosmos.
For dark is the suede that...
mows...
like a harvest.
What the hell does that mean?
Hey, Mitch.
Good morning.
I'm sorry, you can't come this way. There's a tour in progress.
Hello, my name is Barbara.
Hello, Barbara.
I am an alcoholic, but I haven't had a drink in three months.
I'm feeling so optimistic because of the Martians.
We're not alone in the universe.
And it's so perfect...
that it's happening at the beginning of the new millennium.
Our planet was suffering...
with the ozone and the rain forest and...
so many people unhappy in their lives.
And then...
the Martians heard our global karmic cry for help.
People say they're ugly...
but I think they've come to show us the way.
I think they've come to save us.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
You be careful. Don't get yourself killed.
Ain't she cute?
- We're real proud of you.
- Thanks, Dad.
Let me take this.
So long, retard. Don't touch any of my stuff while I'm gone.
Bye-bye, Grandma.
Good-bye, Thomas.
It's Billy-Glenn, Grandma.
I know, Thomas.
Bye-bye, honey.
I must go.
Take care of my boy.
He'll be all right.
I hope so.
Army trains them good.
He's gone for a while.
Why can't you be more like your brother?
We got lucky with Billy-Glenn. You can't expect the same luck twice.
Richie, want to make yourself useful for a change?
Sure, Dad.
Take Grandma back to the home.
I bet you never thought you'd live to see the Martians come.
It's pretty far out.
But think of all the crazy things you must have seen.
I bet people were pretty scared when they invented the train.
Come on, kid, I'm not that old!
Are you okay?
I want to see Slim.
I want to see...
Slim...
and Muffy...
and Richie.
Grandma, I'm Richie.
I know, Thomas.
Richie was always the best one.
Right now the president is talking to other world leaders.
They're preparing a list of issues of common interest to discuss.
There is a unilateral, concerted, diplomatic effort being made.
Jason.
Thanks.
If the Martians land, can the press do interviews?
Well, that depends.
We must establish contact...
work out communication problems...
establish parameters.
Then I guess we just see what happens.
Here's the president.
Good morning.
It's nice to see you all again.
I just have a few minutes for questions, so let's get started.
Mr. President!
Do the Martians have two sexes, like we do?
From Hollywood...
we bring you the "Lawrence Welk Show"!
Here he is, Mr. Music Maker himself, Lawrence Welk.
This pussycat is the most beautiful pussycat...
in the whole world.
That's my Muffy.
Didn't you ever have a pussycat of your own?
Sure, Grandma.
Music!
There you go.
You going to be okay?
If you need anything, any doughnuts or anything, call me.
How do?
Looks like you ain't got no wheels. Come on...
get in.
I'm going to do you a favor.
I owe you one.
I made a ton of money on your last fight in '73.
The Quaker in Jamaica.
I'm glad somebody did.
Yeah, I know, I know.
It's rough on jocks.
You get to a certain age...
opportunities dry up.
So here's the deal.
I got this chum, owes me a lot of money, needs a wake-up call.
What I'd like you to do is...
use that patented left hook on him.
Just in the ring, Art. Just in the ring.
Yeah, I'm hip, I'm hip, but...
I'll give you two grand.
When you're done...
all you must do is mosey on by the office and get the cash.
Why do you want to come at me that way?
I'm trying to get back with my wife.
We had problems with this kind of shit.
But I've changed, man.
I found Allah...
I don't eat pork, I'm a better man.
I faced that demon and I don't want him coming again.
You gave up pork!
They're sending coordinates.
Where are they landing?
Pahrump. It's in the Nevada desert.
I can have my troops there at 0800 hours, sir.
We must not send these people the wrong message.
We need a welcome mat, not tanks!
What are you talking about? You can't have Martians running all over Nevada!
You're right.
- Thank you, sir.
- This situation needs to be supervised.
Absolutely, sir.
General Casey...
can you handle it?
I'd be proud.
Good, but keep a lid on it.
Key media, good cross-section of guests.
We don't want it to turn into a zoo out there.
They don't know what they're talking about!
Liberals, intellectuals...
peacemongers, idiots!
Would you please keep it down?
People live here!
General Casey.
Yes, I get to greet the Martian ambassador.
Isn't that great?
Oh, it's a hell of an honor.
Didn't I always tell you if I stayed in place and never spoke up...
good things were bound to happen?
I want the Martians to be treated like foreign dignitaries.
I want your men alert and majestic...
with a snap in their step.
This must look good. The world is watching.
Yes, sir.
Are you positive this thing will work?
Positively positive.
We don't want any slip-ups.
No, no, no, no. Not at all.
Poppy. All these people.
All of them here to see you.
There's Jason, Poppy!
Okay, let's go.
The teeming masses have gathered from who knows how many states...
waiting and watching.
Why have they come?
Curiosity? Or is it something more?
Or simply to say, 'I was there'?
'I was there...
when first man...
met Martian.'
Jason Stone...
GNN...
Pahrump.
Some room.
Give them room.
It is an awesome sight.
The giant spacecraft glinting...
in the Nevada sun like a...
giant...
hubcap.
Something's happening.
The doorway...
is opening.
A silver ramp...
is coming out...
like a giant tongue.
Gee whiz.
Martians!
Funny little critters.
Well?
Wait.
Greetings.
I am the Martian ambassador.
Everything is fixed now. You may speak.
Greetings.
I am General Casey...
Commanding Officer of the Armed Forces of the United States of America.
On behalf of the people of Earth:
Welcome.
He did that well.
We come in peace.
We come in peace. We come in peace.
They came in peace.
We come in peace.
Open fire!
What?
Die, you alien shithead!
I surrender!
No, it ain't happening! It didn't happen!
Holy Mother of God!
Did you see that?
We should hit these assholes with everything we've got, sir.
Sir, Mr. President, I know this seems terrible...
but let's not be too rash.
We should nuke them!
We must establish a line of communication first.
Set up a town hall.
We'll get the public's opinion.
What do you think?
Kick the crap out of them.
Ladies and gentlemen...
it may be a cultural misunderstanding.
Maybe to them, doves mean war.
We all saw how they reacted to that dove.
It frightened them.
He did say that...
"We come in peace."
The new computer's ready.
Okay, let's do it.
I know we're making the right decision.
Ready to transmit.
This is the president of the United States.
I'm speaking in the hope...
that what happened earlier today in the Nevada desert...
was a cultural misunderstanding.
There can be no doubt that we two peoples...
have a great deal to offer one another.
You must be as excited as we...
to find intelligent life in the solar system.
Let me make it clear.
You have nothing...
to fear from us.
Our customs may be strange to you...
but we mean no harm.
When the investors fly in...
I would like for them each to be...
met by a limo.
Top of the line cars...
leather interiors...
Corinthian, if they got it.
Are you still spinning your wheels on that cockamamie hotel?
Hello!
The Martians have attacked!
This was no misunderstanding. I was there. I saw it.
Look, you're worried about yesterday.
I'm worried about tomorrow.
The Martians land on Earth, they'll need a place to stay.
Just like everyone else.
My God.
Maybe we should all be destroyed.
The human race doesn't deserve to live.
Ethel...
that reminds me.
I'd like the limos to be stocked...
with every kind of alcohol known to man.
And top it off with a bottle of Dom...
on ice.
What confounds me most of all is the lack of genitalia.
Down here is the aorta.
Up here we have the sphinx.
Notice the highly developed nerve system here.
This explains, of course, the cerebral arteries.
And if we notice down here, behind the optic chiasm...
several glands...
Very curious.
"He who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.
"And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die."
Billy-Glenn Norris gave his life defending our country.
Why did it have to be him?
He's a true American hero. May God rest his soul.
Ready! Aim.
Fire!
Aim!
Fire!
Hello?
Byron! Is everything all right? You still coming tomorrow?
Just try and stop me. That plane arrives at 4:00 p. m.
Are the kids there?
Yeah, hold on.
- Me first.
- No, me.
Hey, Dad.
Who's that? Neville?
How are you?
We're going to the White House.
The White House?
Yeah, tomorrow.
- Give it back!
- Leave me alone.
It's a school thing, like a tour.
So you're still going to school once in a while?
Give me your ma again.
Hold on.
Mom.
- You always get to the phone first.
- So what?
I'm first to the game.
Why are you wasting this phone time? I'll see you tomorrow.
But there's something I want to say to you.
Just 'cause I feel like saying it.
What's that?
I love you.
I love you too, Byron.
Now stop wasting money! I'll see you tomorrow!
They're responding.
A message from the Martians.
Really?
They've issued a formal apology.
This is great!
I told you this would happen.
The Martian ambassador feels terrible and wants to speak to Congress.
That's good, isn't it?
You bet.
It's a victory for our administration.
Ladies and gentlemen.
This is a proud day for all Americans.
This is a hell of a photo-op, Jerry.
Are you sure I shouldn't be there?
The Secret Service don't want the executive branch...
and the legislative branch in the same room.
The Martian ambassador is going to say a few words.
Come on down, Mr. Ambassador!
Mr. Ambassador, please!