{705}{759}Howdy there, Mr. Lee.
{763}{817}What's this? Filipino New Year's?
{831}{869}No. Why you say that?
{871}{915}'Cause you're cooking a feast.
{917}{977}I can smell it from the interstate.
{985}{1039}What is that? Barbecue?
{1044}{1104}Yeah. But it not coming from here.
{1125}{1164}What is that noise?
{6232}{6294}What is your take on this, Jerry?
{6307}{6367}The people will love it, Mr. President.
{6375}{6485}Our conflict is whether we ambush|the 6:00 news or hold out for prime time.
{6489}{6545}Screw the press.|This is a need-to-know situation.
{6547}{6643}We should make it top secret,|and should move in with Defcon Four.
{6648}{6693}We can't sit on this.
{6733}{6792}General Casey, do you have an opinion?
{6825}{6855}Well, sir...
{6859}{6895}do we know they are hostile?
{6897}{6943}What do you mean?
{6953}{7015}They have the planet surrounded|by thousands of warships!
{7017}{7063}Do we know they're warships?
{7147}{7221}Professor, what do we know about them?
{7261}{7313}They're very advanced technologically.
{7315}{7393}Which suggests, rightfully so,|that they're peaceful.
{7407}{7512}An advanced civilization is,|by definition, not barbaric.
{7515}{7551}Mr. President...
{7560}{7597}this is a great day.
{7599}{7647}I and all my colleagues...
{7651}{7693}are extremely excited.
{7704}{7726}Good.
{7755}{7812}Extraterrestrial life.
{7839}{7879}You're right, Jerry.
{7884}{7944}The people are going to love it.
{7947}{8004}This is a momentous occasion.
{8025}{8045}Mr. President-
{8047}{8091}We'll go all media on this.
{8095}{8137}I'll wear my Cerruti suit.
{8141}{8181}I'll need a good speech.
{8205}{8239}Statesman-like...
{8247}{8288}historical and yet...
{8293}{8341}warm, neighborly.
{8345}{8436}Abraham Lincoln meets|Leave it to Beaver, kind of thing.
{8472}{8511}Are they too old-fashioned?
{8513}{8551}No, I don't think so.
{8557}{8640}This has got the colors but, no.|I don't think so.
{8643}{8676}Not vivid enough.
{8681}{8729}Nancy had this in the library.
{8733}{8751}Yes, indeed.
{8753}{8783}I don't think so.
{8785}{8866}I thought perhaps the watered silk.|This week it's on sale.
{8875}{8940}I hardly think I need worry about that.
{8943}{9007}My husband is the leader of the free world.
{9036}{9071}What do you think?
{9087}{9184}Why don't you leave the Roosevelt Room|the way the Roosevelts wanted it.
{9201}{9303}Because Eleanor Roosevelt was|too fond of chintz. That's why.
{9313}{9363}Mother, this isn't your house.
{9367}{9441}If you're going to be a pest, I'll ignore you!
{9447}{9474}Mrs. Dale?
{10012}{10076}I saw you fight Sonny Liston in '69.
{10080}{10106}Really?
{10110}{10162}You were a nun back then?
{10166}{10242}We've always been fight fans,|haven't we sisters?
{10250}{10304}Byron Williams, telephone.
{10308}{10334}I must go.
{10338}{10398}You ladies have a nice time.
{10533}{10565}Oh, Louise.
{10578}{10630}Sorry to call you at work, but...
{10642}{10742}the boys haven't been home|in two nights. I don't know what to do.
{10746}{10796}You're doing the best you can.
{10802}{10844}They're just at that age.
{10894}{10977}The casino manager's giving me|the evil eye. I've gotta go.
{10980}{11022}I'll call you later, okay?
{11042}{11118}Are you still cool on me|coming to Washington?
{11122}{11162}'Course I am.
{11174}{11236}You take care, okay? Bye.
{11618}{11662}Must you drink in front of me?
{11664}{11714}You're an adult. Just cope.
{11718}{11794}It doesn't help me|that all we ever do is sit in bars.
{11798}{11842}This is work, baby, okay?
{11846}{11934}I'm checking the decor,|the lighting, the traffic flow.
{11938}{12010}If I'd known you'd turn into a crook,|I wouldn't have married you.
{12012}{12058}I'm not a crook.
{12062}{12114}I'm ambitious. There's a difference.
{12116}{12182}If you think you can make|a nickel in this town...
{12184}{12274}without knowing how to dally|around a few curves, well...
{12282}{12346}you know nothing|of the gambling industry.
{12382}{12480}The Galaxy's going to be|the best hotel in Vegas.
{12484}{12524}The best!
{12529}{12550}I promise.
{12552}{12614}But don't you realize what you're doing?|You're destroying the Earth!
{12616}{12686}All this greed! This money system!
{12690}{12742}You're destroying everything!
{12760}{12806}Okay, Barbara, okay.
{12814}{12864}Keep your voice down.
{12882}{12930}I got friends here.
{12962}{12985}Sugar!
{12994}{13028}Hit me one more time.
{13030}{13064}Stop flirting with the waitress.
{13066}{13098}God. Here.
{13136}{13178}Go over to the roulette...
{13216}{13258}play our anniversary...
{13260}{13310}and stay off of black.
{13386}{13406}Thanks.
{13611}{13675}Make it quick,|we go out live in ten minutes.
{13695}{13752}What? The actual president?
{13757}{13785}Cutting in?
{13887}{13963}Budget negotiations may be dead|in the water after this week.
{13965}{14004}Hair looks good.
{14037}{14063}I like the hair.
{14065}{14117}quote, "factually-challenged."
{14137}{14179}Yeah, Stone. Speak.
{14183}{14219}Jason, hi, it's me.
{14247}{14282}You wearing a bra?
{14293}{14384}Listen, this is big. President Dale|is cutting into my show today.
{14423}{14492}That's absurd. Why would he stoop|to being on "Today in Fashion"?
{14494}{14529}He's interrupting everybody.
{14531}{14613}I don't know, it's some sort of|an emergency announcement.
{14617}{14682}This doesn't make sense.|He should talk to us.
{14707}{14756}White House is coming out live.
{14779}{14847}Good evening, my fellow Americans.
{14855}{14943}I apologize for interrupting|your regular programs...
{14947}{15019}but I have a very important|announcement to make.
{15031}{15105}Many important things have happened|to me in my life:
{15117}{15171}My graduation from Princeton...
{15183}{15267}the day that Marsha said|she would be my wife...
{15271}{15325}the birth of our daughter Taffy.
{15329}{15353}Thanks, Dad.
{15355}{15467}And the news that I have heard today|ranks right up there.
{15473}{15527}A powerful memory is in the making.
{15543}{15585}Not just for me...
{15589}{15633}but for all mankind.
{15640}{15664}Today...
{15665}{15751}an extraordinary discovery|was made by the Hubble telescope.
{15802}{15872}The data from the Hubble was decoded...
{15892}{16003}then analyzed by the most|powerful computers at MIT.
{16018}{16072}The images are undeniable.
{16084}{16160}We are entering the dawn of a new era.
{16188}{16280}Frame enlargements provide|an astonishing sight.
{16286}{16396}A fleet of vehicles,|which can best be described as...
{16402}{16440}flying saucers.
{16444}{16520}Come on! Come on!|Papa needs a new pair of shoes!
{16592}{16656}Hey, am I the only one|shooting craps here?
{16660}{16749}We hope we will have the chance|to meet with them.
{16753}{16819}This is the perfect summation|to the 20th Century...
{16821}{16855}Martians.
{16869}{16915}This is great.
{16925}{16991}Please, come to Earth. Please.
{17007}{17039}We need you.
{17139}{17189}I got people coming in!
{17193}{17261}Everybody wants to be part of this.
{17263}{17331}Galaxy's going to be world class.
{17357}{17389}And soon...
{17393}{17465}we will become one solar system.
{17477}{17509}What the hell's he talking about?
{17511}{17573}These flying saucers|have come from Mars...
{17615}{17677}and at their current course and speed...
{17685}{17725}will enter Earth's orbit in 16 hours.
{17727}{17821}I've been thinking about Martians|when there weren't any.
{17831}{17941}It is profoundly moving to know|there is intelligent life out there.
{17945}{17981}Glad it's somewhere.
{17983}{18075}Our world|will never feel quite the same again.
{18113}{18143}Good night...
{18167}{18212}and God bless you all.
{18465}{18497}This...
{18519}{18557}is intense.
{18621}{18671}Shut up, Poppy. Shut up.
{18697}{18729}Shut up!
{18745}{18774}Jason Stone.
{18843}{18873}It's for you.
{18917}{18977}Poppy, honey. No, sweetie.
{19017}{19069}That's right. Good girl.
{19163}{19202}I could be there at...
{19217}{19265}I don't know, 11:00.
{19635}{19719}They want me to interview|the professor from the White House.
{19735}{19760}Kessler?
{19799}{19825}Donald Kessler?
{19827}{19876}Yeah, I think that was his name.
{19896}{19929}You know, the science guy.
{19931}{19975}This is nuts, this is...
{19983}{20029}We should have got that guy.
{20039}{20091}Your people are too slow.
{20123}{20153}Right, Poppy?
{20725}{20749}Finished!
{20751}{20795}One minute, 57 seconds.
{20831}{20885}- Didn't I tell you under two minutes?|- You did!
{20887}{20911}You did!
{20913}{20939}Hot damn.
{20957}{20990}Want a doughnut?
{20997}{21023}How old are they?
{21025}{21059}Fresh baked, Monday.
{21061}{21125}Richie, that's six days ago!
{21137}{21171}Give me a couple.
{21261}{21319}This Martian thing is pretty awesome.
{21323}{21413}Did one of you traitors see my Muffy?
{21417}{21459}Your brother's volunteering.
{21461}{21513}As soon as I get back to the base.
{21515}{21545}Volunteer for what?
{21547}{21583}Martian detail.
{21609}{21629}Cool.
{21631}{21717}If any Martians come around here,|I'll kick their butts!
{22015}{22039}Jump!
{22268}{22328}Folks,|we must make an unscheduled stop!
{22409}{22437}It's Mama.
{22455}{22533}Why are you here?|If you ain't home, why ain't you in class?
{22535}{22561}Class was cancelled.
{22563}{22597}It was not!
{22601}{22625}- Come here!|- Why?
{22627}{22670}I'm not going to hurt you.
{22681}{22711}Let go of him.
{22749}{22807}Okay. Now just come here.
{22815}{22845}Come here.
{22875}{22915}Think it's smart to cut school?
{22917}{22963}- What are you doing?|- Do you?
{22987}{23015}No, it's dumb.
{23017}{23061}You'll flunk! Go to jail!
{23065}{23109}Get on the bus!
{23113}{23139}Get on!
{23145}{23205}I'll be tripping on you. Get back there.
{23209}{23247}I don't want to hear anymore.
{23249}{23275}I hate school.
{23277}{23307}I heard that!
{23879}{23905}Hi, there.
{23907}{23935}Want a date?
{23939}{23973}How about it?
{23979}{24011}A date?
{24067}{24098}It sounds good.
{24151}{24195}The stress at work is...
{24203}{24241}unbelievable.
{24372}{24414}May I speak to you in private?
{24416}{24483}No, I must watch the floor.|What do you want?
{24495}{24582}- I'm supporting a family back east.|- I thought you were divorced.
{24584}{24651}I am, but I still have to take care of them.
{24672}{24747}Things have been a little lean around here.
{24751}{24798}I was wondering if I could get a raise?
{24800}{24829}Out of the question.
{24831}{24908}I'm an asset to this hotel.|They like me around here.
{24912}{24952}You're a nice guy.
{24960}{25052}But I can get Leon Spinks|or Buster Douglas for the same money.
{25063}{25132}You better get moving.|You're on in five minutes.
{25352}{25412}This show's going to get a great rating.
{25431}{25462}It's all yours.
{25484}{25603}In certain circumstances the proposition|that two and two equals five...
{25607}{25651}is entirely legitimate.
{25692}{25726}Call me Nathalie.
{25736}{25803}And you, do please call me Donald.
{25836}{25872}I admire your show.
{25931}{25991}Really? You like my work?
{26000}{26047}Yes. Very much.
{26051}{26083}Why...
{26096}{26139}Thank you.
{26143}{26185}Coming out of commercial.
{26187}{26228}In five... four...
{26232}{26272}three... two...
{26274}{26356}Welcome back.|We're with Professor Donald Kessler.
{26403}{26479}He's the chairman|of the American Academy...
{26483}{26540}of Astronautics.
{26568}{26600}Professor...
{26607}{26688}isn't it weird that we sent|a space probe to Mars...
{26692}{26742}and we didn't even find anyone?
{26744}{26792}Well, not really...
{26796}{26825}Nathalie.
{26836}{26892}We didn't get into the canals.
{26896}{26945}The Martian canals are canyons.
{26951}{27003}Some are over 100 miles deep.
{27008}{27124}The Martian civilization has clearly|developed under the planet's surface.
{27132}{27217}Their science and technology|must be absolutely mind-boggling.
{27236}{27258}So...
{27260}{27308}what in your view, Donald...
{27324}{27350}Kessler...
{27352}{27455}Chairman, are some of the things|the Martians can teach us, Professor?
{27515}{27575}Quite a lot about Mars, Nathalie.
{27663}{27694}She's flirting.
{27700}{27780}But seriously,|this is tremendously exciting.
{27785}{27859}The knowledge, the new ideas:|it'll change everything.
{27869}{27915}And we must be open to it.
{27919}{27981}Maybe they can tell us about our universe.
{27983}{28015}How it started.
{28019}{28055}Where it's going.
{28059}{28113}Perhaps even its purpose.
{28131}{28169}It's tremendously exciting.
{28171}{28235}It's the most important event since...
{28243}{28297}Jesus walked in Galilee-
{28313}{28341}Christ.
{28345}{28385}What's wrong?
{28389}{28419}Go to Camera Two!
{28421}{28455}I can't. It's busted.
{28457}{28501}Go to One! Go to Four!
{28659}{28693}He copped a feel.
{28755}{28783}Now what?
{29105}{29134}What's that?
{29139}{29177}So that's a Martian.
{29255}{29289}That's a Martian?
{29379}{29415}Oh, my God!
{29419}{29442}Yikes!
{29505}{29562}I'm not having that thing in my house.
{29599}{29631}Sweetie...
{29635}{29703}we may have to.|The people expect me to meet them.
{29705}{29767}They're not eating off the Van Buren china.
{29813}{29849}Look at that brain.
{29863}{29901}He must be real smart.
{29905}{29953}It's gross!
{29971}{30013}Don't forget, Nathalie...
{30017}{30079}that we will look equally gross to him.
{30199}{30251}He made the international sign|of the doughnut.
{30265}{30369}From the limited information available,|I've made three extrapolations. One:
{30373}{30441}Our Martian friend|is a carbon-based life form.
{30445}{30497}Two: He breathes nitrogen.
{30501}{30527}And three:
{30529}{30601}The large cerebrum here, indicates...
{30613}{30659}telepathic potential.
{30669}{30705}You mean they can...
{30707}{30745}read our thoughts?
{30783}{30819}Potentially, yes.
{30823}{30875}What about their intentions?
{30879}{30919}Are they friendly people?
{30921}{31037}Logic dictates that given|their high level of technical development...
{31045}{31091}they're an advanced culture.
{31093}{31161}Therefore, peaceful and enlightened.
{31181}{31237}The human race, on the other hand...
{31247}{31319}is an aggressively dangerous species.
{31341}{31415}Now I suspect they have|more to fear from us...
{31419}{31457}than we from them.
{31477}{31501}Doctor.
{31511}{31538}Thank you.
{31565}{31657}For many years,|I've been refining a translating computer.
{31679}{31749}The results are not perfect, but this...
{31753}{31809}may answer some of your questions.
{31948}{31986}Green skin...
{32004}{32056}800 centuries ago.
{32066}{32104}Their bodily fluids...
{32108}{32168}include the birth of half-breeds.
{32178}{32215}How many centuries did he say?
{32217}{32241}Eight hundred, sir.
{32243}{32298}Self-determination of the cosmos.
{32322}{32384}For dark is the suede that...
{32388}{32416}mows...
{32422}{32472}like a harvest.
{32486}{32533}What the hell does that mean?
{32894}{32922}Hey, Mitch.
{32924}{32955}Good morning.
{32958}{33044}I'm sorry, you can't come this way.|There's a tour in progress.
{33260}{33303}Hello, my name is Barbara.
{33305}{33345}Hello, Barbara.
{33361}{33461}I am an alcoholic,|but I haven't had a drink in three months.
{33620}{33700}I'm feeling so optimistic|because of the Martians.
{33716}{33774}We're not alone in the universe.
{33782}{33830}And it's so perfect...
{33834}{33919}that it's happening at the beginning|of the new millennium.
{33924}{33970}Our planet was suffering...
{33974}{34056}with the ozone and the rain forest and...
{34094}{34170}so many people unhappy in their lives.
{34188}{34216}And then...
{34232}{34318}the Martians heard|our global karmic cry for help.
{34332}{34368}People say they're ugly...
{34370}{34436}but I think they've come|to show us the way.
{34486}{34542}I think they've come to save us.
{34613}{34640}Thank you.
{34944}{34970}Bye-bye.
{34972}{35042}You be careful. Don't get yourself killed.
{35046}{35080}Ain't she cute?
{35084}{35142}- We're real proud of you.|- Thanks, Dad.
{35174}{35208}Let me take this.
{35244}{35340}So long, retard. Don't touch|any of my stuff while I'm gone.
{35390}{35424}Bye-bye, Grandma.
{35428}{35458}Good-bye, Thomas.
{35460}{35494}It's Billy-Glenn, Grandma.
{35496}{35534}I know, Thomas.
{35580}{35612}Bye-bye, honey.
{35648}{35684}I must go.
{36000}{36037}Take care of my boy.
{36304}{36332}He'll be all right.
{36334}{36361}I hope so.
{36363}{36402}Army trains them good.
{36532}{36570}He's gone for a while.
{36590}{36650}Why can't you be more like your brother?
{36654}{36756}We got lucky with Billy-Glenn.|You can't expect the same luck twice.
{36770}{36846}Richie, want to make yourself useful|for a change?
{36850}{36876}Sure, Dad.
{36878}{36926}Take Grandma back to the home.
{37262}{37345}I bet you never thought you'd live|to see the Martians come.
{37356}{37402}It's pretty far out.
{37452}{37540}But think of all the crazy things|you must have seen.
{37552}{37636}I bet people were pretty scared|when they invented the train.
{37650}{37716}Come on, kid, I'm not that old!
{37800}{37830}Are you okay?
{37870}{37908}I want to see Slim.
{37912}{37944}I want to see...
{37948}{37978}Slim...
{37982}{38014}and Muffy...
{38024}{38056}and Richie.
{38128}{38165}Grandma, I'm Richie.
{38202}{38248}I know, Thomas.
{38256}{38318}Richie was always the best one.
{38413}{38492}Right now the president|is talking to other world leaders.
{38494}{38580}They're preparing a list of issues|of common interest to discuss.
{38582}{38688}There is a unilateral, concerted,|diplomatic effort being made.
{38748}{38766}Jason.
{38768}{38786}Thanks.
{38788}{38880}If the Martians land,|can the press do interviews?
{38900}{38936}Well, that depends.
{38938}{38990}We must establish contact...
{38994}{39046}work out communication problems...
{39048}{39080}establish parameters.
{39082}{39140}Then I guess we just see what happens.
{39148}{39186}Here's the president.
{39242}{39274}Good morning.
{39278}{39334}It's nice to see you all again.
{39338}{39428}I just have a few minutes for questions,|so let's get started.
{39432}{39462}Mr. President!
{39532}{39608}Do the Martians have two sexes,|like we do?
{40038}{40068}From Hollywood...
{40070}{40154}we bring you the "Lawrence Welk Show"!
{40280}{40384}Here he is, Mr. Music Maker himself,|Lawrence Welk.
{40606}{40698}This pussycat|is the most beautiful pussycat...
{40702}{40756}in the whole world.
{40760}{40800}That's my Muffy.
{40916}{40984}Didn't you ever have|a pussycat of your own?
{40988}{41018}Sure, Grandma.
{41024}{41066}Music!
{41192}{41222}There you go.
{41334}{41376}You going to be okay?
{41398}{41494}If you need anything,|any doughnuts or anything, call me.
{42123}{42155}How do?
{42185}{42267}Looks like you ain't got no wheels.|Come on...
{42275}{42309}get in.
{42421}{42473}I'm going to do you a favor.
{42477}{42503}I owe you one.
{42505}{42603}I made a ton of money|on your last fight in '73.
{42607}{42646}The Quaker in Jamaica.
{42665}{42703}I'm glad somebody did.
{42707}{42757}Yeah, I know, I know.
{42761}{42798}It's rough on jocks.
{42811}{42855}You get to a certain age...
{42860}{42904}opportunities dry up.
{42929}{42971}So here's the deal.
{42975}{43075}I got this chum, owes me a lot of money,|needs a wake-up call.
{43077}{43131}What I'd like you to do is...
{43135}{43205}use that patented left hook on him.
{43227}{43297}Just in the ring, Art. Just in the ring.
{43301}{43361}Yeah, I'm hip, I'm hip, but...
{43375}{43423}I'll give you two grand.
{43449}{43487}When you're done...
{43491}{43589}all you must do is mosey on|by the office and get the cash.
{43595}{43645}Why do you want to come at me that way?
{43647}{43703}I'm trying to get back with my wife.
{43707}{43765}We had problems with this kind of shit.
{43785}{43827}But I've changed, man.
{43833}{43859}I found Allah...
{43861}{43921}I don't eat pork, I'm a better man.
{43947}{44021}I faced that demon|and I don't want him coming again.
{44075}{44123}You gave up pork!
{44296}{44342}They're sending coordinates.
{44485}{44511}Where are they landing?
{44513}{44566}Pahrump. It's in the Nevada desert.
{44568}{44644}I can have my troops there at 0800 hours,|sir.
{44649}{44737}We must not send these people|the wrong message.
{44741}{44792}We need a welcome mat, not tanks!
{44796}{44905}What are you talking about? You can't|have Martians running all over Nevada!
{44909}{44939}You're right.
{44941}{45010}- Thank you, sir.|- This situation needs to be supervised.
{45012}{45048}Absolutely, sir.
{45052}{45088}General Casey...
{45093}{45133}can you handle it?
{45149}{45175}I'd be proud.
{45177}{45236}Good, but keep a lid on it.
{45240}{45309}Key media, good cross-section of guests.
{45329}{45396}We don't want it to turn|into a zoo out there.
{45620}{45682}They don't know what|they're talking about!
{45684}{45737}Liberals, intellectuals...
{45741}{45797}peacemongers, idiots!
{45837}{45893}Would you please keep it down?
{45897}{45937}People live here!
{46514}{46544}General Casey.
{46581}{46657}Yes, I get to greet the Martian ambassador.
{46669}{46709}Isn't that great?
{46713}{46782}Oh, it's a hell of an honor.
{46793}{46902}Didn't I always tell you if I stayed|in place and never spoke up...
{46906}{46965}good things were bound to happen?
{48573}{48658}I want the Martians to be treated|like foreign dignitaries.
{48662}{48725}I want your men alert and majestic...
{48729}{48789}with a snap in their step.
{48818}{48882}This must look good.|The world is watching.
{48884}{48910}Yes, sir.
{49034}{49091}Are you positive this thing will work?
{49117}{49158}Positively positive.
{49162}{49200}We don't want any slip-ups.
{49202}{49253}No, no, no, no. Not at all.
{49769}{49836}Poppy. All these people.
{49856}{49913}All of them here to see you.
{49980}{50024}There's Jason, Poppy!
{50332}{50368}Okay, let's go.
{50421}{50502}The teeming masses have gathered|from who knows how many states...
{50504}{50548}waiting and watching.
{50553}{50586}Why have they come?
{50588}{50645}Curiosity? Or is it something more?
{50653}{50718}Or simply to say, 'I was there'?
{50729}{50762}'I was there...
{50766}{50804}when first man...
{50806}{50842}met Martian.'
{50857}{50879}Jason Stone...
{50881}{50913}GNN...
{50917}{50942}Pahrump.
{51734}{51762}Some room.
{51766}{51809}Give them room.
{53053}{53106}It is an awesome sight.
{53110}{53181}The giant spacecraft glinting...
{53185}{53249}in the Nevada sun like a...
{53265}{53297}giant...
{53309}{53345}hubcap.
{53385}{53425}Something's happening.
{53561}{53594}The doorway...
{53598}{53628}is opening.
{53729}{53774}A silver ramp...
{53778}{53814}is coming out...
{53837}{53881}like a giant tongue.
{54458}{54498}Gee whiz.
{55177}{55209}Martians!
{55233}{55274}Funny little critters.
{56206}{56234}Well?
{56257}{56279}Wait.
{56369}{56396}Greetings.
{56401}{56461}I am the Martian ambassador.
{56521}{56585}Everything is fixed now. You may speak.
{56589}{56621}Greetings.
{56625}{56663}I am General Casey...
{56665}{56777}Commanding Officer of the Armed|Forces of the United States of America.
{56786}{56849}On behalf of the people of Earth:
{56853}{56878}Welcome.
{56898}{56932}He did that well.
{57658}{57694}We come in peace.
{57714}{57766}We come in peace. We come in peace.
{57884}{57936}They came in peace.
{58012}{58052}We come in peace.
{58756}{58782}Open fire!
{59540}{59568}What?
{60758}{60818}Die, you alien shithead!
{60976}{61005}I surrender!
{61188}{61250}No, it ain't happening! It didn't happen!
{62613}{62665}Holy Mother of God!
{62681}{62716}Did you see that?
{62720}{62803}We should hit these assholes|with everything we've got, sir.
{62817}{62854}Sir, Mr. President,|I know this seems terrible...
{62856}{62903}but let's not be too rash.
{62905}{62942}We should nuke them!
{62953}{63020}We must establish|a line of communication first.
{63036}{63077}Set up a town hall.
{63081}{63130}We'll get the public's opinion.
{63177}{63220}What do you think?
{63261}{63304}Kick the crap out of them.
{63340}{63379}Ladies and gentlemen...
{63381}{63442}it may be a cultural misunderstanding.
{63460}{63508}Maybe to them, doves mean war.
{63554}{63626}We all saw how they reacted to that dove.
{63634}{63670}It frightened them.
{63680}{63732}He did say that...
{63780}{63832}"We come in peace."
{64068}{64118}The new computer's ready.
{64122}{64170}Okay, let's do it.
{64174}{64236}I know we're making the right decision.
{64308}{64344}Ready to transmit.
{64394}{64484}This is the president of the United States.
{64506}{64550}I'm speaking in the hope...
{64554}{64635}that what happened earlier today|in the Nevada desert...
{64644}{64720}was a cultural misunderstanding.
{64740}{64810}There can be no doubt|that we two peoples...
{64814}{64892}have a great deal to offer one another.
{64896}{64944}You must be as excited as we...
{64948}{65025}to find intelligent life in the solar system.
{65052}{65098}Let me make it clear.
{65102}{65142}You have nothing...
{65146}{65194}to fear from us.
{65204}{65280}Our customs may be strange to you...
{65284}{65348}but we mean no harm.
{67074}{67136}When the investors fly in...
{67148}{67212}I would like for them each to be...
{67244}{67280}met by a limo.
{67304}{67362}Top of the line cars...
{67376}{67432}leather interiors...
{67446}{67504}Corinthian, if they got it.
{67524}{67606}Are you still spinning your wheels|on that cockamamie hotel?
{67640}{67670}Hello!
{67686}{67734}The Martians have attacked!
{67738}{67836}This was no misunderstanding.|I was there. I saw it.
{67840}{67898}Look, you're worried about yesterday.
{67906}{67954}I'm worried about tomorrow.
{67958}{68044}The Martians land on Earth,|they'll need a place to stay.
{68048}{68089}Just like everyone else.
{68108}{68144}My God.
{68176}{68242}Maybe we should all be destroyed.
{68266}{68342}The human race doesn't deserve to live.
{68510}{68538}Ethel...
{68542}{68584}that reminds me.
{68588}{68646}I'd like the limos to be stocked...
{68650}{68724}with every kind of alcohol|known to man.
{68728}{68794}And top it off with a bottle of Dom...
{68798}{68834}on ice.
{68858}{68936}What confounds me most of all|is the lack of genitalia.
{68940}{68986}Down here is the aorta.
{68990}{69050}Up here we have the sphinx.
{69058}{69134}Notice the highly developed|nerve system here.
{69138}{69222}This explains, of course,|the cerebral arteries.
{69226}{69314}And if we notice down here,|behind the optic chiasm...
{69332}{69382}several glands...
{69472}{69516}Very curious.
{70538}{70648}"He who believes in me,|though he die, yet shall he live.
{70670}{70766}"And whoever lives and believes in me|shall never die."
{70794}{70874}Billy-Glenn Norris gave his life|defending our country.
{70878}{70924}Why did it have to be him?
{70928}{71024}He's a true American hero.|May God rest his soul.
{71064}{71108}Ready! Aim.
{71146}{71170}Fire!
{71204}{71230}Aim!
{71238}{71264}Fire!
{71568}{71597}Hello?
{71601}{71682}Byron! Is everything all right?|You still coming tomorrow?
{71684}{71768}Just try and stop me.|That plane arrives at 4:00 p. m.
{71773}{71809}Are the kids there?
{71813}{71845}Yeah, hold on.
{71921}{71961}- Me first.|- No, me.
{72048}{72067}Hey, Dad.
{72069}{72117}Who's that? Neville?
{72133}{72157}How are you?
{72159}{72205}We're going to the White House.
{72207}{72245}The White House?
{72249}{72279}Yeah, tomorrow.
{72283}{72331}- Give it back!|- Leave me alone.
{72335}{72389}It's a school thing, like a tour.
{72393}{72463}So you're still going to school|once in a while?
{72499}{72533}Give me your ma again.
{72535}{72559}Hold on.
{72561}{72581}Mom.
{72587}{72653}- You always get to the phone first.|- So what?
{72669}{72707}I'm first to the game.
{72757}{72831}Why are you wasting this phone time?|I'll see you tomorrow.
{72833}{72895}But there's something|I want to say to you.
{72899}{72957}Just 'cause I feel like saying it.
{72963}{72992}What's that?
{73009}{73043}I love you.
{73087}{73131}I love you too, Byron.
{73135}{73209}Now stop wasting money!|I'll see you tomorrow!
{73629}{73665}They're responding.
{73745}{73793}A message from the Martians.
{73851}{73873}Really?
{73875}{73925}They've issued a formal apology.
{73971}{74021}This is great!
{74039}{74085}I told you this would happen.
{74089}{74189}The Martian ambassador feels terrible|and wants to speak to Congress.
{74193}{74231}That's good, isn't it?
{74235}{74271}You bet.
{74285}{74341}It's a victory for our administration.
{76129}{76167}Ladies and gentlemen.
{76171}{76245}This is a proud day for all Americans.
{76259}{76337}This is a hell of a photo-op, Jerry.
{76351}{76403}Are you sure I shouldn't be there?
{76407}{76497}The Secret Service don't want|the executive branch...
{76501}{76575}and the legislative branch|in the same room.
{76601}{76673}The Martian ambassador|is going to say a few words.
{76687}{76739}Come on down, Mr. Ambassador!
{78371}{78412}Mr. Ambassador, please!